Not Pastoral

My beer mug at The Corner says, “The Rev” on it. I have come to realize that I’m not very “pastoral”, I’m not even sure what that really means. I have some pretty rough corners. I tease my kids. My poor wife will probably get arthritis in her neck from the daily head shaking that goes on.

My emotions run high. I laugh a lot, I get angry, and I don’t hide them very well. They pass relatively quickly, so I don’t brood, that’s a positive, I guess. But none of that is very “pastoral”.

I’m not soft spoken. If we had a church building we wouldn’t need to worry about church mice because I’m just too loud. I’m a loud talker. Which is great for public speaking but not so good for those intimate “pastoral” moments you’re supposed to have with people.

I’m pretty sarcastic and see irony everywhere. While these things are wonderful for my own amusement, I think they confuse people when they realize I’m a pastor. You see, pastors are supposed to be serious, especially us “Presbyterians.”

I really like to learn. I am fascinated by other people and their lives and stories. I suppose that’s “pastoral.” I love studying the Bible and worshiping and helping other people grow in their faith, so that’s “pastoral”, I think.

I’m not real “judgy”, so that goes against the culture’s perception of who I am as a pastor. We’re either supposed to be real “judgy” or we’re supposed to be really eccentric über liberals. I’m not either of those.

I’m finding that there are three really important principles that I need to keep focusing on. I have to be committed to truth seeking and communicating. I have to be committed to grace. I have to be committed to faith. If I can do those three things I can love well.

As I look back over the last 20 years of being a committed follower of Jesus, I think I can say that I’ve grown in loving well. I think that’s a good thing.

Maybe being “pastoral” doesn’t really matter all that much. I’m beginning to think that learning to love well may be the higher calling. I think I’m starting to grasp what Paul was saying in 1 Corinthians 13…

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 ESV)

At least I hope I am.

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