Be That Guy, Your Pastor Needs You

More and more studies are coming out about pastors and the realities of their calling. In my denomination there have been two pastoral suicides in the last 12 months. As you can imagine, this has raised some concerns in my wife's heart. We have conversations about my 'feelings' and such.

Being a pastor is really hard. There's no two ways about it. Your life is given to others. You enter in with people's greatest sorrows and greatest joys. When you're new at all this you have a picture of days spent studying the Scriptures, preaching, and writing. You think your sermons will change lives. Then you wade into the reality of being a pastor. You find out that it's not your sermons that change lives, it's God. You find out that people are never finished. There's no closure. You discover that giving people all of yourself isn't enough, because they don't want you, they want Jesus. And you're not him.

Your family doesn't get you and most of your friends don't get you. "Why can't you come to this family thing on Sunday? Just have someone else do the sermon." "You never come to family things during the holidays." "Why can't you get away? Everyone else can." "So you just work one day a week, right?" "You're a pastor, how about you pray for the meal."

Being a pastor is the weirdest, hardest, most beautiful calling there is. But it raises a question -

How does one survive this? You need "that guy".

Every time Amy and I have a conversation about my heart there is this one thing that keeps things square: Three men who I know are completely and totally safe. Three men in my life that I can share anything and everything with. Three men who will tell me, "You're being an idiot." Three men who will say, "We're so angry along with you in this..." Three men who will fight for me. Three men who will drop whatever their doing, wherever their doing it and show up. Three men who I can call, text, email, tweet, Facebook, or whatever in the middle of the night and they will respond. Three men who will constantly and repeatedly preach the gospel to me, over and over and over again. Three guys who are "that guy" for me.

How does someone survive being a pastor? You need "that guy" in your life. You need the guy who will be your pastor, not because he has to but because he just "is".

Do you want to encourage your pastor? Do you want to love them well? Start by inviting them over for dinner and watching the game together. Or maybe just go have a beer and talk about the weather. Start taking steps toward being "that guy". Show up and be there. Learn to keep confidences.

Pastors do you want to make sure you're healthy? Do you want to make it? Cultivate a relationship or two with others that can be "that guy" for you. Some day you will need them.