One of my favorite television shows is
The Big Bang Theory. I find it to be hilarious. The show is well written and as a result makes very interesting cultural critiques through the use of humor.
This past week's episode includes a story about Sheldon seeing his mother having sex. Sheldon's mother is single and a devout, fundamentalist Christian. She is of course a stereotype. Sheldon cannot get over what has happened. But, not for the reasons that you might expect (eww, my mother is having sex!), it is because this activity goes against the religious moral code that Sheldon's mother taught him from a very young age.
At one point Sheldon sitting with his mother says, "It's not the sex Mom, it's the hypocrisy."
After further conversation he says, "Fine, I will accept you on the outside but secretly judge you on the inside." His mother responds, "Now that's the good Christian thing to do."
I almost came unglued.
I am still angry.
I am angry because that's what the world sees out of us as Christians. "I will accept you on the outside but secretly judge you on the inside."
This could be for a few reasons. First, it could be their own guilt and shame being projected on to us. That's very possible and at times likely. Second, it could be an inaccurate assumption. Thirdly, it could be true.
Many people talk about "love the sinner and hate the sin." This translates to "I will accept you on the outside but secretly judge you on the inside." Jesus has called us to love, without condition. We must learn to love as Jesus did, outwardly as well as inwardly. His love is outstanding. He did not wait around for us to get our act straight. He came to us, pursued us, called us. He loved us first. It was in the context of his love for us that we find out who we truly are and our meaning and purpose.
We must learn to love the same way. What does it mean to love without condition?
Some will say that we are called to live holy and righteous lives, how can we love sinful broken people for who they are? As you read the Gospels it is fascinating to see the response of the people, especially the "sinners, tax collectors, and prostitutes", they were drawn to him. Our holiness drives people away.
One of us is doing it wrong, and it's not Jesus.
I do not have a good answer to the question. It's really hard. I can say this though, when I have loved people without condition we have ended up having great conversations about their lives. They have even asked me about those areas of brokenness and what needs to change so they can be closer to God. When that happens, I start with grace...
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. -- Paul, The Apostle from his letter to the Ephesians (Eph 2:8-9)