I remember sitting across from my friend Matt. He was doing pre-marital counseling for Amy and I. The conversation we were having that particular session was about love. It was probably one of the most significant conversations that I’ve ever had. We talked about how love is not just a feeling. Love is a choice.
Have you ever thought about that before? Love is a choice. Everyday you wake up and choose to love the people in your life that you love. You have to make a conscious decision to love them. People don’t fall in and out of love. They choose to love or not to love.
Recently, I’ve been learning that, like love, forgiveness is a choice. That might seem pretty obvious. I’m probably just dull. But, forgiving someone can be really hard because we have to choose to forgive them. Forgiving someone is not a small thing. It’s a big deal. Especially when you’ve been hurt deeply.
When we forgive someone we are moving towards them in love. We are letting go of the hurt that they have inflicted on us. We are saying, “You hurt me. You hurt me deeply. I will not seek vengeance. I will entrust justice to God. I forgive you.”
To do that, we must choose. When the hurt is particularly deep we have to keep choosing. We don’t have to be fake (you know, “All is well, we’re best pals!”) but we choose again and again and again to forgive. We don’t have to be a doormat either. Many times this choice to forgive will be internal. It doesn’t always lead to reconciliation. But without it, we will struggle to experience forgiveness extended to us.
If you’re like me, forgiving doesn’t come easy. It’s a really hard decision to make.
But, at least for today, I choose forgiveness. How about you? Are there any hard choices to forgive that are before you?
The post Learning to Forgive appeared first on Daniel M. Rose. It was written by Daniel M. Rose.
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