A Little Respect

When my daughter was born something fundamentally changed in me. I began seeing the world differently. As a young man I really didn't think very much about how women experienced the world. It was hard for me to think of women as someone's daughter or sister.

Then my daughter was born.

All of a sudden I began think about women differently. I became keenly aware that the women I would see on the street or on campus were someone's daughter.

Yesterday a video began circulating about a woman walking through New York City for ten hours. She was cat called and hit on repeatedly. She had men walk next to her talking at her and follow her for long periods of time.

The comments disgusted me (many by women).

"She should feel happy that they are doing this." 

"Pretty soon she won't be beautiful any more. She should be grateful."

"What a bitch. She didn't say thank you."

Really?! REALLY!? If I was walking with my daughter and men started doing this, I would probably end up in jail. I don't want anyone speaking to my daughter that way.

We wonder why violence against women is persistent. We wonder why porn rages. Well, one reason is because when we are faced with images like this video we mock it. We don't get what's going on. A human being is being objectified. A woman becomes a "thing" like a car.

Sadly, if I didn't have a daughter I might wonder what the big deal was. I might even think she asked for it because of her tight shirt, large breasts, and tight jeans.

But, I'm the father of a daughter. Have a little respect.

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One Step Too Far

Why is it that we tend to go one step too far? I'm particularly thinking about holiness and the Christian life (although I think this extends beyond that). We have a very good desire, to be holy, but it plays out so often as self-righteousness.

For example, we want to keep our minds and hearts pure. Therefore, we set a rule, "no movies but G rated films". Or we want to encourage abstinence so we create a rule, "no dancing". Christians are not the only ones susceptible to this thinking. Schools institute "zero tolerance" policies for all kinds of things and this leads to children being expelled for bringing nail clippers to school.

We tend to go one step too far. Something within us always pulls us toward legalism.

Derek Webb writes this,

Don't teach me about politics and Government
Just tell me who to vote for
Don't teach me about truth and beauty
Just label my music
Don't teach me how to live like a free man
Just give me a new law
I don't wanna know if the answers aren't easy
So just bring it down from the mountain to me
I want a new law
I want a new law
Gimme that new law

I think he nails it. We want the answers to be easy. The easy answers are legalistic answers. The "new law" and they always go one step too far.

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Small Hills

A friend of mine says, "Christians choose to die on small hills". I think he's right. We get bent out of shape over lots of things. Most of these things don't matter.

Over the last few years I'm finding that there are fewer things that really matter. There are few things that I get angry over. Not many things get my blood boiling.

I hope that this is the result of maturity and growing in grace. Sometimes I worry that it's the result of sin in my life or that I'm no longer holding tight to the truth. I see so many other Christians in my circles get worked up about this or that. But, I just don't see how it matters.

More and more all I want to do is point people to Jesus. I want them to see how amazing he is. I want them to see that he calls them to repentance and belief. I want them to see how he challenges the status quo. I want them to know that there is grace and forgiveness. I want them to know the beauty of being in community with other people who are trying to follow Jesus.

Sometimes though, the small hills get in the way. We get exhausted from climbing the foothills and as a result miss the majesty of standing on the mountain top.

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Transformation

If we're honest with ourselves one of the reasons that we don't participate or engage in "evangelism" or "discipleship" is because we don't think that transformation is possible. We have a "what's the point?" mentality. This person isn't going to change, so it doesn't matter.

Incarnation –> Reputation –> Conversation –> Confrontation –> Transformation

It doesn't have to be that way though. We can see change and transformation happen in the lives of people. As we practice incarnation (living into a place) and build a reputation, then we will have a platform for conversation. Conversation brings with it confrontation. If we can embrace the confrontation then what happens is transformation.

When we think of transformation we must think small. Most of us want to see large and sweeping transformations take place. We want the one who holds a polar opposite position from our own to do a 180 and be "transformed". The thing is, this isn't the way people generally work. We don't tend to change core beliefs that we've held for long periods of time just because some person tells we should change.

This is really hard for us to get our minds around. We "know" we are right. Why can't this person see that they would be better off seeing the world "my way"? This kind of thinking is especially prevalent among my tribe of evangelical Christians. We "know" we have the way, the truth, and the life all figured out. The world would be better if everyone would just come around to our way of thinking.  It's also prevalent within the context of every tribe (yes I'm looking at you secular humanists).

We don't really have patience for transformation to take place. We want it accomplished now. We want that person over there to convert and to do it now.

I think the best class that I took in seminary was one from Dr Jerram Barrs called "Evangelism and Outreach". It was a class largely based on his book, "The Heart of Evangelism". The thing that most impacted me was the reality that "preaching the gospel" was about meeting people where they were and challenging their heart and mind with the gospel. For some people this would be a call to trust Christ. For others, it is engaging with a particular aspect of their belief system that is a barrier to them coming to faith in Christ. Transformation occurs as we challenge people with truth. That challenge can be big or small. It can bring about total transformation or a small transformation. 

In some sense what we need to do is change our expectations. For the Christian this means that we need to trust that God cares more deeply about the people in our lives than we do. It means that we don't need to try and "convert the heathen". It means that we can simply engage in conversation and confrontation. Transformation will occur. It's the natural result of confrontation. We need to be OK with the small transformations. Each small transformation is one step closer to a larger moment.

When that larger moment comes we may or may not be present to celebrate it. But, we'll have played a significant role and we'll have been faithful with what God has entrusted to us.

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It Takes a Community

The other day, I received an email that really got under my skin. I mean, it really bothered me a lot. It was one of those emails that for whatever reason just irked me.

It felt personal.

I took it personally.

I was ready to respond with snark and sarcasm.

Thankfully, I could process it out with Amy. She listened and reminded me that it was not personal. This was no vendetta to ruin my life (we are given to a bit of emotional over reaction in our family).

I wrote a response. I deleted it.

I wrote a second. I edited it. Amy read it. She approved.

Then I forwarded it all on to some close friends where I was able to write out what I wanted to say. These men embraced my feelings and extended empathy.

I matured a little that day. I was able to because of the people in my life extended grace, truth, and giving a little time.

How do you handle these little moments? Share below in the comments...

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When was the last time that you did something you didn't want to do? I'm not talking about for work. What I mean is when was the last time you stepped out in an act of service for someone else?

I think that more of us do this than we realize. More of us act in selfless ways t

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Diversity In Unity

"Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it."

This is something that I love about following Jesus. We are not like the Borg where you have to assimilate. We're not like the Daleks or Cyber-men (I know I'm mixing Sci-fi references). The body of Christ is wonderful because it is full of diversity and unity.

There are some things that the Church offers the world. This is one of them. Diversity in unity.

In one body, all members individuality cherished as a gift from the Father.

Too often we want every person to be the same as us. We want them to dress like us, listen to our music, use the same devices, and like the same sports teams. We feel like every person should share our political view points and our hot button justice issues.

What is the reality is that we need one another? We need different perspectives and those different perspectives need to be cherished?

What might the world look like if the body of Christ embraced this little idea from St Paul written nearly 2000 years ago?

What if...

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